OBJECTIVE: To become more aware of how we are uppers, downers, and vultures to others.
A) Describe an instance in which YOU were each of the following:
1) an Upper to someone,
2) a Downer to someone, and
3) a Vulture to someone. Then
B) Analyze why you communicated differently in each situation and what was it about the overall communication systems that affected what you said, and finally touch on how your communication, in turn, affected the relational systems within which it occurred.
These are some details explaining the meaning of upper, downer, and vulture and to get idea how to use them in journal. This down part.
Write and submit Journal: Uppers & Downers Let me explain this one a little. Our self-concept is partly shaped by how other’s perceptions of us are communicated to us. Part of how we think about ourselves is the way we think others see us. It is easy for us to understand how other people’s communication towards us influences our perception of ourselves. It is harder to understand how OUR communication towards others is influencing them!
This is a part of my lecture notes:
People in our lives also shape our ‘self’ through reflected appraisal. It is who our peers believe us to be as well as what behaviors are appropriate or inappropriate. It is a theory that suggests that a person’s self-concept matches the way the person believes others regard him/her.
This is like the looking glass self-theory- the view that others are mirrors for us—the views of ourselves that we see in them shape how we perceive ourselves. Our self-concept is shaped by what we believe others think of us.
How others see you affects how you see yourself. This is important to understand. You need to realize that others can behave as uppers, downers, and vultures. And these behaviors will affect your self-concept.
- UPPERS—People act as uppers when they communicate positively about us and reflect positive appraisals of our self-worth, progress and accept our weaknesses and problems without discounting us. When we are around uppers, we feel more upbeat and positive about ourselves. Uppers don’t have to be unconditionally positive. A true friend can be an upper by recognizing our weaknesses and helping us work on them. Instead of putting us down, an upper believes in us and helps us believe in ourselves and our capacity to change. Can you identify some UPPERS in your life?
- DOWNERS—are people who communicate negatively about us and our self-worth. They call attention to our flaws, emphasize our problems, and put down our dreams and goals. When we are around downers, we feel down about ourselves. We are less confident. Who are the downers in your lives?
- VULTURES—are the worst. They are extreme downers. When people act like vultures, they not only communicate negative images of us but also attack our self-concepts just as actual vultures’ prey on their victims. Vultures pick up on our own self-doubts and magnify them. They find our weak spots and exploit them. They say, “You’ll never get into that club at your weight.” “This is your term paper? Oh my gosh! It’s only 12 pages long. You really aren’t very intelligent are you. Oh well. At least you’ll pass the class. Maybe!” By telling us we don’t measure up, vultures demolish our self-esteem. Any vultures in your life?
It is easy to identify people in our lives that are uppers, downers, and vultures. But it is often difficult to see how we can be uppers, downers, and vultures to others, but we are! And we are shaping how they see themselves! I want you to: Describe an instance in which YOU were each of the following:
(1) an Upper to someone,
(2) a Downer to someone, and
(3) a Vulture to someone.
Then analyze why you communicated differently in each situation and what was it about the overall communication systems that affected what you said, and finally touch on how your communication, in turn, affected the relational systems within which it occurred.