Descriptive Paragraph
Instructions: write a descriptive paragraph for this assignment for a total of 100 points. You may choose any person you have known personally or any place that was important in your life as your topic. However, you must demonstrate mastery of the following in your paragraph. Therefore, the depth (length) of your paragraph must be sufficient to demonstrate these concepts.
a. Topic Sentence – Be sure this is a general statement that states the person, place, or thing you will describe. Highlight this sentence in aqua blue. (10 points)
b. Body Sentences – Be sure to select ideas and write sentences that appeal to the senses (sight, sound, smell, taste, and/or touch) and that are definitely related to the topic sentence. The quality and relationship of these sentences will be evaluated. (10 points)
c. Coherence: Be sure that you organize your paragraph in the best way possible. A coherent paragraph is clear, logical, and readable.
(1) Order: Select the best order for your paragraph (time, space, or importance). Select transitions for your paragraph that demonstrate your understanding of the order. At a minimum, you must use three (3) transitions to demonstrate your understanding of this concept. Highlight these transitions in yellow. (15 points)
(2) Related Sentences: Be sure to repeat words and ideas; use synonyms and substitutions to demonstrate your understanding of this concept. Highlight these related words or sentence parts in gray. (15 points)
d. Sentence Structure: In your descriptive paragraph, demonstrate your understanding of the following sentence structures. You must demonstrate at least one (1) of EACH of the following structures. Highlight these in green. (5 points each, for a possible total of 20 points)
(1) Coordinating conjunction
(2) Semicolon
(3) Conjunctive adverb
(4) Subordinate clause followed by an independent clause
e. Concluding Sentence: Be sure to complete your paragraph with a well-written concluding sentence. (15 points)
f. Mechanics and Grammar – Be sure that you complete the final step of the writing process: proofreading. Your paragraph should be free from sentence construction errors and should be spell-checked. (15 points)
Solution.
Descriptive Paragraph
Mr. Bob was the soccer team coach during my junior high school as he registered an era of success in the sport, all thanks to his leadership skills. He succeeded in knitting the team into one unbeatable force, with each member of the team working in synergy with the others to produce the desired results. As much as the coach rewarded individual players for their efforts towards the success of the team, he always strived to make the team acknowledge the importance of each of the members to its success. The coaches of most of the teams in the school employed transactional leadership and used reward and punishment to motivate their players. In contrast, Coach Bob employed transformational leadership, where he led by an example, upholding the values that he wanted to see in his players. Some players valued his techniques and game plans; others his receptiveness to opinion. Although he experienced years of turbulence entwining the team together during the beginning of his tenure, he managed to stand the test of time. The Coach banked on persistence, recruiting anyone who wished to join the team without discrimination and gradually shaped them into excellent team players, who relied on each other for their general success. The discipline in the team escalated to a level that members viewed each other as a family and acknowledged their responsibility towards each other. For example, beyond the field, the players assisted each other in their academics, forming discussion groups and mentorships between the senior and the junior members.
Nevertheless, amidst the successes discussed above, the coach faced various challenges that threatened the cohesiveness of his team. His competitors employed various strategies including creating conflict within his team in order to beat him as they knew the cohesiveness of his team was enough to beat any other team. At one time, two of his best players were lured into joining another school team with promises of scholarship. This bruised the spirit that the coach had established in the team and made some of the players doubt their capability to beat the other teams. However, these adversaries failed to acknowledge the coach’s ability to build upon the capabilities of the remaining members of the team by allowing them to complement each other. After complaining to the sport’s officials, Coach Bob promptly moved to put his house in order. For instance, some of the members lacked speed but had dribbling skills, while others had speed and lacked such skills. In such a case, these two sets of players would compensate for the weaknesses of their fellow players. Moreover, the fact that the participants operated like a family means that they understood the roles of each other and would easily cover any gaps created in the team. As such, the coach was able to maintain the versatility of his team even as he continued to bring home trophies after I had graduated from high school.
In conclusion, it is evident that proper leadership skills are important in facilitating dependence in any setting and in promoting teamwork. It is through team work that individuals can be able to contribute their expertise and proficiencies towards a common cause. Teamwork allows each of the members to acknowledge the capabilities of others and allows all the members to equally contribute towards a goals, thus magnifying their strengths and compensating their weaknesses.
